The Secret Is Still My Own
by ItsAComedyOfSorts
Summary: Blaine leaves for a military mission. Kurt wishes he could've told Blaine how he feels. Blaine has hidden feelings for Kurt.


**Authors note: **

So this is my first fic but don't take it easy on me! I would love to hear comments and concerns about my writing. This story just popped into my head while listening to Alone (Glee cast version) and so this is my first fic I've ever finished. Oh and before I forget italics is a past conversation. I hope you enjoy it :)

**Disclaimer:**

* * *

><p>As much as I would love to, I don't own Kurt or Blaine or this song.<p>

"I hear the ticking of the clock, I'm lying here the rooms pitch dark"

Kurt knew the song well, a personal favourite actually, and it just seemed to fit everything he was feeling. So he sang.

"I wonder where you are tonight, no answer on the telephone"

Kurt had called Blaine's phone so many times he had lost count. He knew Blaine couldn't answer but he just wanted to hear his voicemail. He missed his voice so much.

"And the night goes by so very slow. Oh, I hope it won't end though...alone"

This past year had been so painful and slow for Kurt. More so then he thought it ever could. He had been best friends with Blaine since high school when they met. Blaine had told Kurt he wanted to serve for the military, but he didn't tell him how much it would hurt when he left for a mission.

"Until now I always got by on my own. I never really cared until I met you"

Kurt knew he loved Blaine, how could he not? Blaine had been there for him all those years. Especially when he was being harassed by those bullies at school. He would always be there for Kurt if he was ever in trouble. Blaine wasn't just his best friend...he was something much more to Kurt.

"And now it chills me to the bone, how do I get you alone?"

He still remembers the day Blaine got the letter.

"_Kurt we need to talk." _

"_Blaine, what's wrong? What's this?"_

"_They're calling me away on a mission...to Vietnam."_

"_W-what? Well h-how long will it take?"_

"_I...I don't know."_

Kurt wished he could bring Blaine back. He wished with every inch of his heart. He wanted to tell Blaine how much he loved him the day he left but he just couldn't do that. Not to Blaine or himself. He was too afraid he wouldn't reciprocate the feelings.

"How do I get you alone?"

**Somewhere in Vietnam**

Blaine sat outside his tent alone. This year was hard for Blaine, really hard actually. However, it wasn't because he was in a different country or that he was risking his life every day. He knew that all came with the job. He didn't know that this heartbreak came with it too. He missed Kurt more than he has missed anyone or anything. It had been so long since he'd seen him, or heard his voice.

"You don't know how long I have wanted to touch your lips and hold you tight"

Blaine knew he loved Kurt, how could he not? Really though. Kurt was not only beautiful but amazingly talented. Blaine missed Kurts singing a lot. He and Kurt had been best friends since they met in high school. He was always there for Blaine. There to listen and give advice. Kurt was so strong being able to withstand all the bullying and fight back. Blaine could never stand up to bullies like Kurt did. He was so confident in everything he did. Kurt was not just a best friend to Blaine...he was so much more.

"You don't know how long I have waited and I was gonna tell you tonight"

He was so close to telling Kurt how he felt the day he had to leave. As they stood there in each others arms Blaine thought how right it felt, but he couldn't bring that up right before he left. He couldn't do that to himself. What if Kurt hadn't returned the feelings? He just couldn't handle that on top of him leaving.

"And the secret is still my own"

Kurt wanted to tell Blaine how much he loved him, but he would have to wait until he returned...if he returned.

"Oh, and my love for you is still unknown. Alone"

Blaine wasn't sure when exactly he started singing but it felt so good to express his feelings somehow. He hasn't sung since he left and he missed it. Almost as much as he missed Kurt. He wished he could have Kurt in his arms right now, hold him close, and tell him how much he loved him.

"Until now I always got by on my own, I never really cared until I met you"

Kurt wanted to be in Blaines arms so he could feel his warmth, his heartbeat.

"And now it chills me to the bone, how do I get you alone?"

Kurt watched the rain fall outside his window as he sang, holding a pillow wishing dearly it was Blaine and let his tears fall.

"Oh, how do I get you alone?"

He couldn't contain his grief any longer.

"How do I get you alone?"

Blaine sat in the dark watching the moon and let his thoughts be completely clouded with Kurt and home. Finally he let his tears fall.

"How do I get you alone?"

Kurt wasn't sure how much more he could take of had so many unsaid words and hidden feelings that he felt as though his heart was going to explode, but how could his heart explode when it was too busy breaking.

"How do I get you alone?"

Blaine felt like screaming, he couldn't handle this pain much longer. He was afraid that at any moment it would swallow him whole. He wanted to go home, to Kurt. But he had a duty and didn't know when he could return...or even if he would return.

"Alone..."

Well what did you think? :) Review if you can please! Thanks so much for reading!


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